One of LISA’s selling points is its diverse cast of playable characters with unique designs and dialogue. As such, it stands to reason that they use different weapons in combat, from swords to guns. Some of them use more unique items, like a pencil or a deck of cards.

Some weapons in the game add or subtract from the user’s stats. As such, they should be given to different users depending on the circumstances - in fact, some characters like Nern don’t even need ATK-boosting weapons because their special moves are more practical. Here are the best weapons offered for each character’s use.

 

14. Brad, Terry, Rage, Rooster, Ajeet, Birdie, Geese, and Buffalo - Queen Bands

The most commonly-used weapon class in LISA: The Painful is the wristband. These weapons raise the user’s HIT stat, or offensive accuracy, by 4%. There are eight different kinds to choose from. However, most wristbands in Olathe have no special effects - they only raise the ATK stat, or physical offense.

The Queen Bands are the strongest set in the game, boosting ATK by 50 points. Additionally, they raise AGI, or combat turn priority, by 5 points.

Some companions, like Terry, Ajeet, or Birdie, might not even need wristbands, as their movepools mostly depend on buffs and debuffs, but it doesn’t hurt to give them a backup plan for when their SP bars run low.

• Strongest weapon available for respective characters
• Boosts ATK and AGI
• Not necessary for some party members

How to Get It: Buy from Chester for 121 magazines in Holly Wood, accessible from the doorway two ropes above the Save Crow at the Area 3 Crossroads.

 

13. Nern - Peacemaker

The talkative historian Nern is an interesting case. His “Discuss Powers” ability, which restores 30% of the target’s SP, costs only 15 SP to use. This gives him a steady, infinite power source to use his Finger Beam abilities.

These abilities use SATK, or special offensive power, rather than ATK to calculate damage. Because his ATK stat is lower than his SATK, it is more sensible to use items that boost the latter rather than the former.

As such, Nern is best off using the Peacemaker (not to be confused with the DC antihero) in conjunction with the proper armor sets. This weapon boosts SATK by 10 points. It also boosts ATK by 23 points in case he has to resort to shooting opponents in a pinch. It may not be the strongest handgun in the game, but it works best for him.

• Boosts SATK rather than ATK
• Cheaper than the strongest handguns
• Still boosts ATK enough for emergencies

How to Get It: Buy from Chester for 67 magazines on the second screen of the Construction zone, accessible from the large doorway next to the man in the blue hat at the Area 2 Crossroads.

 

12. Olan - Blood Bow or Martlo Bow

The liquor-loving Olan’s arrows sometimes have a chance of debuffing opponents, whether by fire or poisoning. His TP meter, which recharges when he takes or deals damage, allows him to exploit these abilities at a decent pace throughout the game’s battles.

Depending on the party members’ abilities, he can equip either the Blood Bow or the Martlo Bow. Parties with limited support might prefer the former, which has a 33% chance of inflicting the Bleed status. This chance increases significantly in conjunction with the multi-hit Rapid Arrow abilities.

On the other hand, the Martlo Bow increases his AGI. This is especially useful for parties that already have good support, but need a quicker combative edge. Combined with his Vantage Point ability, this bow can pick apart adversity while he hides.

• Choose between debuffing and offensive strength
• Blood Bow’s multi-hit attacks almost guarantee debuffs
• Martlo Bow’s multi-hit attacks can pluck the adversity from afar

How to Get It: Buy from Chester for 66 magazines in Skull Town, accessible by blowing open the bottom right door (Blood Bow). Dropped by Slave Lord Jim on Dismal Island, accessible by taking the Dismal Map from Morty’s Yard Sale to Shardy Hernandez at the Area 2 crossroads (Martlo Bow).

 

11. Fardy - Sluginator, Chopping Axe, or Head Rocker

Fardy Hernandez’s main selling point is his Truck Slam ability, which hits every opponent on the field with a chance of knocking them over. The power of this ability depends on his ATK stat - so logically, players might want to use the strongest clubs in the game. However, his utility depends on which one he equips.

The Sluginator is the most straightforward, as it boosts his ATK by 30 points. This isn’t the strongest club - that’s The Homer, which is best used by Queen Roger instead.

On the other hand, the Chopping Axe and Head Rocker have a decent chance to inflict bleeding and stunning, respectively, with the main tradeoff being 10 fewer ATK points’ increase. These are better-rounded, and therefore more practical on teams without status debuffs.

• Sluginator boosts Truck Slams for offensive skillset
• Chopping Axe helps for combat over time
• Head Rocker helps for turn-to-turn debuffing

How to Get It: Buy from Chester for 78 magazines in Holly Wood (Sluginator). Buy from Chester for 45 magazines on the second screen of the Construction zone (Chopping Axe). Buy from Chester for 46 magazines in Skull Town (Head Rocker).

 

10. Mad Dog - Head Rocker, Big Zinger

Although his signature weapon is the Spiked Club, which has a chance to inflict Bleed, Mad Dog does not need it, nor does he need the more powerful Nail Bat. He already has the Nail Comb and Nail Rake moves, which use TP.

As such, he is best off using the Head Rocker or Big Zinger. The former’s benefits have already been detailed in Fardy’s entry. The latter, on the other hand, has a 100% chance of inflicting the Burn status in conjunction with his Nail attacks.

Regardless, using his glitched Taunt ability in a battle with multiple opponents tends to fully refill his TP bar. No matter what weapon he uses, he can exploit this to spam his special moves.

• Choice between stunning and burning
• Cheaper weapons to choose from
• Near-guaranteed burning for Big Zinger

How to Get It: See Fardy’s entry above (Head Rocker). Buy from Chester for 37 magazines at Area 1 Crossroads (Big Zinger).

 

9. Beastborn - Adventure Whip

The soft-spoken Beastborn’s limited weapon pool makes this one a no-brainer. The Adventure Whip boosts his ATK stat by 25 points, making him especially cheap to maintain. Instead of focusing on his weapon choice, players may wish to choose proper armor to make him more useful.

Beastborn’s best armor combination would be the Fur Coat, the Turquoise Pads or USA Flag, the Wood Shield, and the Dandy Hat or Football Helmet. These can all be found at shops, except for the USA Flag, Wood Shield, and Football Helmet.

• Strongest weapon for his use
• Whips are less common, making Beastborn cheap to maintain

How to Get It: Buy from Chester for 77 magazines in Skull Town.

 

8. Percy and Dick - Decent Boomerang

Percy and Dick, like Beastborn, have very few weapons to choose from. The Decent Boomerang is the best, with a 20-point ATK boost and a 14-point AGI boost. Additionally, this weapon boosts their HIT by 4%, Critical Chance by 7%, and Evasion by 7%.

The Critical Chance boost is especially useful for Percy, who already has a high LUCK stat, but whether players actually end up using him is debatable. Because he is found right before the Russian Roulette minigame, and his LUCK stat is often treated with a healthy dose of superstition, fans tend to sacrifice him early.

• Strong critical Chance boost for Percy
• Dick’s Evasion makes up for his weaknesses

How to Get It: Buy from Chester for 50 magazines in Holly Wood.

 

7. Buckets - Sunsetter and Snubby

Buckets has the unique permission to equip up to two handguns at a time - a privilege to be earned through bloodshed and sacrifice. In sacrificing party members in the Russian Roulette minigame, players earn both Buckets and the Sunsetter, the second-strongest handgun in the game.

Combined with the Snubby, these handguns give Buckets a whopping 78 extra ATK points, 16 AGI, and 33 LUCK. It should come as no surprise that he is programmed to suffer from Joy withdrawal, and that consuming the drug does not boost his power. It’s only fair.

• Simply overpowered
• But requires sacrifices to obtain

How to Get It: Defeat all Russian Roulette players at the intersection between Area 1 and Area 2 (Sunsetter). Find in a hidden room on Resort Island, accessible by taking the Resort Map from the Area 3 Crossroads art gallery to Shardy Hernandez (Snubby), or buy from Chester for 144 magazines in Holly Wood.

 

6. Yazan - Eastern Blade

Yazan, too, has an unfortunately limited pool of weapons to choose from, with the Eastern Blade being the only step up from his default Sabre. Both weapons increase ATK and AGI, and have a chance at inflicting Bleed.

Ideally, Yazan should equip proper armor to increase his Evasion, DEF (physical defense), or SDEF (special defense), as he has low HP. He already has high AGI, which does nothing to protect him, but allows for him to strike before being stricken.

Combined with the right hat and poncho, Yazan is best off equipping the Old Sock or Stench. Both items give him the Stink status, which generally forces opponents to target other party members instead.

• Inflicts bleeding
• Cheaper to maintain - but not as cheap as Beastborn

How to Get It: Buy from Chester for 88 magazines in Skull Town.

 

5. Tiger Man - Mighty Spear

Tiger Man is the last of the recruitable companions listed here to have such a limited weapon set. The Mighty Spear is the strongest - which is rather unfortunate, considering his ATK stat is lower than his unused SATK. This perhaps justifies allowing him to give in to his Joy Addiction.

Alongside his spear, he can equip a powerful poncho and an accessory. With the Locket equipped, he gains an 80% chance at inflicting Poison, Blind, Pissed, Paralysis, Crying, or Scared - along with the already-likely Bleed status from his combos.

• Locket almost guarantees your party gains the upper hand
• Unfortunately expensive weapon

How to Get It: Buy from Chester for 132 magazines in Holly Wood.

 

4. Harvey, Fly and Ollie - Dandy Boy, Grenada 9, or Crimson Tide

These three companions, each recruited under different circumstances related to the Fishman Town, have two “ultimate” weapons to choose from. If a player should include only one of them, they should use the Dandy Boy, found on Resort Island.

If, however, another SMG user joins the party, he should use the Grenada 9, as there is only one Dandy Boy. The next-best choice, the Crimson Tide, is weaker but can be found on Dismal Island or purchased. This backup option saves money.

• Free guns in hidden areas
• Very powerful, but next-best option is almost as good

How to Get It: Find in a hidden room on Resort Island (Dandy Boy). Buy from Chester for 130 magazines in Holly Wood (Grenada 9). Dropped by Jonathan on Dismal Island, or buy from Chester for 111 magazines in Holly Wood (Crimson Tide).

 

3. Carp - Rusty Knife or Combat Knife

Carp’s second-best knife is ironically one of the least powerful he can use. Additionally, it’s easy to miss, and those who don’t miss it might end up losing it at the first ultimatum in the game upon choosing to save Terry.

The Rusty Knife offers 23 ATK, 5 AGI, and a chance to inflict Bleed and Poison - both of which can be devastating over time. This should be used in parties that need an extra debuff user. However, the Combat Knife offers a whopping 76 ATK and 12 AGI in return for sacrificing the Poison chance. Regardless of whether players find or forget the Rusty Knife, it’s clearthat the Combat Knife is much stronger in general.

• Rusty Knife can be obtained very early
• Combat Knife is very powerful

How to Get It: Find in Brad’s House before sacrificing Terry or return after saving Terry in Area 1 (Rusty Knife), 

 

2. Queen - The Homer

Technically, Queen would benefit from any of the debuffing clubs. However, The Homer is by far the most threatening. This bat has a decent chance to trip enemies that only increases with the use of his multi-hit Beatdown attacks.

Not only that, but The Homer has a 39 ATK and 20 LUCK boost that makes up for its 10 AGI debuff. As such, Queen simultaneously offers hard hits, critical hits, and nearly-guaranteed debuffs.

• Hits harder, more often
• Critical chance increases with each hit
• Debuffs agility but more than makes up for it with multi-turn attacks

How to Get It: Jump off the left side of Snow Mountain Peak in Area 3 with party members at 501 or more HP.

 

1. Bo, Clint, Jack, Garth, RT, Shocklord, Sonny, Crisp - no weapon, or default

There is little to be said about these characters here, as they cannot upgrade their weapons in any way. Bo’s moves don’t deal damage. Clint, Shocklord, and Sonny don’t equip weapons at all. Jack, Garth, RT, and Crisp only use one weapon each.

Ultimately, how these characters are used depends on who they team up with and whether they have good armor or not. Proper armor can be analyzed or chosen automatically using the “Optimize” option in the Equip menu.

• Never need to get new weapons

How to Get It: Recruit the companions.