Top Ten Mario Kart 8 Characters

Want to know if your favorite Mario Kart 8 character is one of the best?  You may be unaware of the online tier lists, or may not actually trust them.  This list is meant to eradicate those concerns, by mentioning the technicalities of each character, and how it makes them better than the rest.

If your favorite character is not on this list, then no Luigi death stares! All characters can be excellent depending on the player.

Before seeing the number ten spot on this list, take note that the heavier characters are the best in the game.  As they are the slowest in acceleration, but the fastest in overall speed.  This however does not give the characters on the list away.  Read all the way through and you might be surprised with number one!

10. Metal Mario

Mario with a metallic cap on his head, Metal Mario was a powerup first introduced in Super Mario 64.  Although this has to be one of the least inspired ideas for a character totally separate from the real Mario, he is faster than his own flesh and blood.  So as long as you can get past his cold, metal disposition, you have the tenth best Mario Kart 8 character (just don’t look into his eyes for too long).

9. Roy

Roy Koopa rocks woman’s sunglasses like a pimp, and he cruises the fastest when compared to his motley group of on-again, off-again children of Bowser.  Considered to be a heavy weight, and at the bottom of the S-rank tier in Mario Kart 8, Roy is decently fast, with a better acceleration than some of the heavier characters on this list.  He is far from perfectly balanced however, and could only pimp-slap his way to number nine on this list.

8. Donkey Kong

Donkey Kong is back for another race, and got a manicure and pedicure for the occasion (smooth like a Baby Mario’s bottom)!  DK is fast, and along with Roy and Waluigi, he leaps from S Tier into SS Tier rank when racing in 200cc.  His handling and acceleration are subpar, but when he gets going, Donkey Kong is a juggernaut of a racer!  If he hits you, it’s going to hurt!

7. Waluigi

If Waluigi did not make it onto this list, what more would he have to lose?  He still doesn’t get his own games, he isn’t going to be playable in  Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, and everyone in the Mario universe hates him! Not only that, but everyone hates Wario more, so he can’t even win at being the worst!  He is however an excellent racer, with stats similar to Donkey Kong, and in 200cc, he is also comparable to the characters tiered even higher on this list.  If you’re looking for a new Mario Kart main, why not show Waluigi some love? He’s a phenomenal racer, and could really use some tender loving right about now.

6. Heavy Mii

At this point, it is clearly evident that size matters here in the competitive world of Mario Kart 8, and this is further supported by the Heavy Mii.  Like the other Mii’s but more likely to lie on its driver’s license, Heavy Mii is faster than its slimmer counterparts.  Otherwise, its other stats are similar to that of the other Mii’s, making Heavy Mii the best option for any self-representative gamers out there.  Lying about body weight has never been this rewarding!

5. Morton

Morton appears to be the star sibling compared to the other six Koopalings.  With an incredibly slow acceleration rate, Morton Koopa is fast with a capital M.  Just as speedy as some of the fastest characters in Mario Kart 8, Morton is only hindered by his sluggush acceleration to speed conversion rate.  Once he gets his momentum rolling however, his opponents guaranteed to be seeing stars!

4. Bowser

The time has finally come where the King of the Koopas reigns supreme over Mario Kart’s titular, title character!  Bowser is a momentous monster with marvelous momentum, and only a poor acceleration preventing him from being in the top three.  He isn’t the King of the Karts, but what should someone do about that, kill him?

3. Dry Bowser

It appears that what kills you makes you stronger, because Dry Bowser is in the number three spot on this list.  Other than his bodacious triple ponytail, and deadpan sense of humor, Dry Bowser has stats comparable to the best characters on this list.  Although he is not the absolute best driver on this list, Dry Bowser is good enough to be in the SS Tier rank, and that is simply bad to the bone.

2. Wario

Most experts on Mario Kart 8 will claim that Wario is the best character in the game.  As the highest placed on the Mario Kart 8 tier list, Wario has the most efficient acceleration to top-speed ratio.  On top of that, he owns his own gold mine, a stadium, and even a freaking mountain!  Yes, Wario is a fantastic member of Mario Kart, but who is number one? Wait. Who is Wario looking at?

1. Lakitu

Lakitu. That’s what his friends get to call him, but his worshippers simply call him God.  Lakitu is the only lightweight on this list, and his acceleration is consequently spectacular.  He may not be the fastest character on the roster, but paired with the Circuit Special/Slick Wheels/MKTV Parafoil combination, Lakitu gets first place every time.  He wears goggles for swimming in first place trophies, and has a smile that melts the heart of anyone who sees it.  A character no Mario Kart 8 player should ever overlook, Lakitu was born to fly, and he does just that with god-like grace, and a neighborly smile.

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