3. Turn the Combat Tables

What the kids these days call “juicing up.”

Remember when I said you should strive to never have a level playing field? We're back to that, baby.

Scattered around the world, and in countless airdrops, there's drugs and self-defense items. These are your best friend, my junkie comrade.

If you don't wanna risk losing that fight, just jam a syringe called “Muscle Milk” into your forearm, and boom! You now deal 15% extra damage for two minutes. I guess all those protein shakes paid off, technically speaking.

There's also Iron-4-Skin, which lets you take 15% reduced damage for two minutes. Which begs the age-old question, what happens when a Muscle Milk attacks an Iron-4-Skin? ...Normal combat, I guess. What a silly age-old question.

Self-defense items like pepper spray and tasers (or stun guns) are also a coward's best friend. Tasing an enemy then running around to stab a spear through their back is an encouraged strategy in this moshpit of killing and gore. Or if you're getting kinda jumpy, fill an enemy's eyes with pepper spray, hit their face with a rock, and sprint the opposite direction.

Just remember how your first date went. You should know what to do.